Monday, April 26, 2010


Sometimes aspirin can't cure a headache. Sometimes sleep is not what you need. Sometimes all you really crave for, is chilled beer, and a smoke to seal the deal.

Life seemed short a few months ago. Life was overflowing with optimism.The age of 25 was within sight.Success was pulling me towards it, like a magnet pulling iron nails.

Now, thrown into this dark hole crawling with lust, betrayal, longing and despair looking at the occasional sun crossing over the opening,I wait for the day i can summon the strength to climb out.

I'm exhausted. Tired, of shooting arrows in the dark. Tired of my thoughts which behave like a gaggle of geese playing with little children in a room filled with toys at a busy intersection with impatient drivers honking while blowing black metal at loud volume on a hot summer day in Delhi.

My thoughts that churn brain fluid at a slow sluggish speed. I wish i could silence them. Silence them for once and for all.

An irritant need. Waiting for the teacher to arrive...for the student is ready.

Hope is a lie. Grace does not exist.

The idle mind may be the devil's workshop. I am possessed. Parasites crawl through my veins, they swim through my bloodstream. Feeding on my emotions, feeding on my malignant heart.

Failure is the norm. Failure, my biggest fear. The battles lost, The war a long tiring one.

I'm falling asleep.

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